hazel-grace-lancaster:

so my history teacher is a really cool guy but he’s also one of those teachers who, upon being asked “can i go to the bathroom?” goes “i don’t know, *can* you?” and he did it to a girl and she goes “WHAT ARE YOU PREPARING FOR? YOU REALIZE THAT AFTER HIGH SCHOOL I WILL NEVER NEED TO ASK PERMISSION TO USE THE BATHROOM AGAIN, AND THE DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF CAN SAYS ‘BE PERMITTED TO’” 

160,471 notes

unclefather:

how to kiss a boy

  1. grab his waist
  2. slip your hand in his pocket
  3. steal his wallet
  4. dont even kiss him
  5. just run
566,940 notes

kanrose:

iammakingperfectsense:

insidemymmind:

Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.

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THE JIG IS UP, YOU SNEAKY BASTARDS. WE’RE ONTO YOU.

583,420 notes